Situation Normal
by The Venom Symbiote
Summary: When the steam faded he could see his face. Newly shaved head, hint of stubble. Gun resting on the counter. Ready to take responsibility. Before, he could rest easy. Now, not even a coma could save him.
1. Prologue

_A/N: I coul_ _d've poste_ _ _d_ this more than an hour earlier but I was too busy watching the film **Fury**. If you have the disk I strongly urge you to watch it because it has tanks and they blow stuff up.  
_

 _Also_ Fury _was amazing._

 **Disclaimer** : I kinda wanna play that violent game my cousin plays. Then after I fail the goddamn tank and big-ass ship mission for the fiftieth time in a row (seriously, screw the tank-ship mission) I can watch the tornado skip over the barn in Season 5 of _The Walking Dead_ and all the other big goof-ups in the show to make myself feel better. Or maybe I'll watch that dinner scene in Fury again. Did you know I didn't write or produce _The Walking Dead_? I know, it surprised me too.

Also The Fox Familiar made me catch something really obvious I would've missed otherwise, thanks, bro. See, this is what happens when you review my crap. You get a small note in the disclaimer. Just wanted to say thanks, without you I'd still be writing the same garbage I wrote almost a year ago. :3 Also, thanks a ton for doing the summary stuff for me.

* * *

"Meanwhile inland, Atlanta has been downgraded temporarily to an eight with attacks and rioting being reported..." Static. "... are urged to be near their radio and await further instructions..." The broadcasting filled with static. Shane flipped the on/off switch a couple times, trying to see if it would cut the static. Nothing. He leaned back into the carseat.

"So people are rioting," Lambert said. "You really think that's surprising?"

"You know anything about it?"

Lambert shrugged. "You haven't noticed? People are scared. They want to go home to their families, make sure everything is okay. This stuff that's going on - it's not getting any better. People want to feel safe, so sending them to a safe haven will satisfy that need, and, well, hoping that it'll calm the riots. If you had any family you'd be packing too. Our job is to make sure people are safe."

"Are you sure the big cities are the safest bet?" Shane asked. "Sending them to a military would be safer, don't you think? They have guns, food, water - shelter from these flesh-crazed geeks. We don't know anything about them - "

"Listen," Lambert said, "this stuff that's going on - it's getting worse. We're trying to calm everyone down, there's more hoping that we can stop this crazy shit - but we can only hope that we can manage to quarantine the uninfected."

Shane rubbed his forehead - something he'd taken to doing when he was nervous or agitated. "See, Lambert, this department, our people - they've got it all wrong. The military is the city's safest bet. They're built for outbreaks like this. What they're doing is just going to get more people killed."

"People want more than just shelter, food and water. They want to feel comfort - Atlanta, these major cities - even their families' houses - those are places of comfort, they're what they're used too. The people who are rioting, they're scared. They don't know a damned thing about the insane crap that's going on or why there are shootings. You want to know when you need to start worrying, man, is when the safe cities are no longer safe and you need to head somewhere else, somewhere where there wasn't a quarantine."

"What about the people in the hospital? What's going to happen with them? They going to be shot like one of those flesh-eating monsters? Rick is in there, goddammit, Lambert, I'm not leaving him to get shot down. If this shit gets any deeper than it already is, I'm getting his ass out, I don't care how safe people think it is right now."

"..."

* * *

Shane wanted to mourn over Rick - he wanted to tell Lori everything that happened -not just gloss over it as an "I had Leon call the hospital but I don't know how the hell he's doing". This was more than that, much more. He couldn't just pass it over as that - hell if it had been him in Rick's position, Rick would be trying his best to make time, explain it, everything that happened.

But these rioting all over town - the reported felonies - he wasn't sure. What was going on? Hell, he'd heard rumours about the military getting involved - but if it was that bad, how was this part of the town unaffected? He and Rick had dealt with criminals but this was different - the air of things being handled, even reports of people attacking others and biting each other? It sounded like rabies, but no rabies virus had ever got as crazy as to infect multiple people.

He thought of Rick again, getting shot. And how he hadn't even told Lori. She needed to know. She deserved to. And he owed it to Rick to tell her that.

* * *

"Rick's been shot," Shane said into the phone.

Pause. He could hear Lori's muffled cry in the background and it hurt. This was his fault. If he had paid more attention to his friend, she wouldn't have to go through this. And he wouldn't have to explain it to her.

"Oh my God," she whispered. "Is he alive?"

"I - I had Leon call an ambulance. He's on his way to the hospital." Shane swallowed. "I - he - "

"How is he?"she said.

"I ... don't know."

"He's alive?" she sobbed.

"He's alive..." Shane's thoughts went back to the moment when they shot Rick. "We're getting him to the hospital."

"O-okay."

"Look, Lori... I just felt you should know, okay?"

"Yes..." She sniffled. There was a long pause, then she said, "I have to pick up Carl now, okay?"

* * *

Shane got out of the car. Lori was already making her way across the grounds.

"Is he alive?"

"He's in surgery." Shane took a deep breath, ready to explain it all to her, but she asked before he opened his mouth.

"How?"

There was a radio call that said that there was two suspects in a car, but there was a third man. Somebody screwed up. I screwed up." He paused, moving his hand up to his face and rubbing it. "I ju - I did not see him in time - Lori, it's my fault."

She pressed her lips together. "I- I don't believe that." She looked past the fence at the school. Carl was running out amidst the other school kids. "What do I say? How do I tell my son his father's been shot?"

"You don't have to do it alone." He looked at her, hoping she understood.

"Okay," she said, but her tone of voice told him she didn't want him to come and help her while she explained it. "Come on." She took a breath and walked back over to the schoolyard to meet him. Shane couldn't hear what they were saying, but he could see Carl's reactions to his mother and, while he knew this wasn't his family, felt as of his heart was being ripped apart.

* * *

"Hey, man,what are you doing?" Shane shouted at a cop who was hauling out the six-gallon buckets of water into his police car.

"I'm doing what I need to. There is no way in hell I'm taking my family to Atlanta unprepared. I'm not going to waste my time looking for water if any of this shit goes down in Atlanta."

"Hey man, calm down, alright? You're - "

"Overreacting, huh?" The man picked up the six-gallon bucket of water and set it into the trunk. "You should pay more attention to those riots the military has been breaking up when they shoot these monsters down. Hell, check out the hospital your friend is being patched up in a few days and every person who was hauled in through those doors will be dead. These soldiers know what's going on, they just don't want people to panic. There's always the chance Atlanta is safe, but I'm not taking any chances." He picked up two more buckets and shoved them into the car.

Shane breathed out slowly and wiped his face. "We don't know that, man. This'll all blow over in the next week or so. The military can handle this."

"I'm telling you man: I don't take any chances in this kind of situation. We can kill them off, but the people panicking - they're the real danger. I don't care how many people tell me it's okay, it's not okay, the sooner you get it through your head, the sooner you're going to be in a safer position." He picked up another two buckets. "You have no idea how bad this could get. These rabid people - they're not the problem. Screw them. They couldn't take on the military even if they had razorblades as teeth - the real problem is society, panic, these riots - that's what's going to overwhelm the government. If they weren't acting like small children everything would be fine - but they're not."

He pushed in the last bucket and shut the trunk. "You've got to understand it, man: this shit is not to be taken lightly. Even if the attacks cease, those panicked people still are going to think we've been shooting innocents on a rampage. They'll think it's martial law, or some shit. I'm taking precautions and doing what anyone rational man would do. You'd do better taking my advice."

He opened the door to the driver's seat. "Maybe you're right, Shane: maybe this will blow over in a couple weeks. But it doesn't hurt anyone to be prepared."

* * *

Shane finished gassing up the car and opened the door. Things were getting weird. The reports he'd been making investigations on were saying that helicopters were being confiscated from the police station, and from what Lambert had been saying to him earlier things did not seem that good

He sat down and shut the door with a little more force than necessary. Lambert glanced at him.

"Before we pulled in - what you were saying earlier, about the - "

"Well," Lambert started the engine, "A friend of mine told me that he noticed lights going out in a big-ass part of the community, and our state isn't the only place it's happened in."

Shane rubbed his head, trying to think. That didn't make _a_ _ny_ sense. What could cause an outage of that much of the community? A solar flare, maybe - but if that was the case, why hadn't the smaller parts of the communities' power went out?

"Do you know anything about it?" he asked finally, as Lambert put his foot on the gas and reversed the car out of the station.

Lambert shook his head and rounded the corner. "I haven't heard any news about it - besides what I've heard from my friend." He paused, taking a brief look at Shane. "I'd have to say it's got something to do with all the riots going on."

Shane shifted in the seat uncomfortably. "You think the riots might have got out of hand?"

"It's possible," Lambert said pleasantly.

Shane shrugged, trying to ignore the slight concerns nagging at the back of his mind. "You hear anything else?"

Lambert hesitated. "Well..." He swerved suddenly to avoid a car as they took the exit near the highway, "I've heard some really weird shit going on. It could mean nothing, but ... "

Shane's thoughts briefly flickered back to Rick in the hospital. Was he still safe? And if so, how long? This in turn brought him to think of Rick's wife and son - Lori and Carl. How were they handling Rick's absence? It hadn't been more than a couple weeks since Rick got shot, but...

" ...or that's at least what the K-9 unit said."

"What?" Shane said, trying to cover his missing what Lambert had just said by trying to souns as if he had heard but did not believe it.

"K-9 unit's been coming back with dead dogs." Lambert repeated himself. "Could mean nothing, could mean something..."

He looked quickly at Lambert, trying to see if he was trying to loosen the earlier tension by taking a crack at it, but he looked serious.

"Not to mention there have been reports of cannibalism in some parts," Lambert continued.

"This some kind of joke?"

"It's up to you. In this situation, the one we're in right now, do you think I'd make up extra stuff just to joke about it?"

"No, man, it's just - " Shane unintentionally rubbed his head, glancing out the window. "It's just the weirdest shit I've heard. The riots are bad enough, but - this - this is getting weird."

* * *

A lot could change in forty-eight hours.

At least, with the rioting and other insane shit going on.

Two days later proved that. The riot cop patrols had been increased a ton. Shane was surprised that they hadn't started to quarantine the uninfected or screen anyone who had been near any places known to have riots yet. If they waited too long to do these things they would have a huge problem on their hands.

And why hadn't the military gotten involved in this yet?

Shane unconsciously rubbed his head. There were too many questions, and the answers he tried to make out for himself weren't all that convincing.

He exited the building. The sky had been relatively quiet for the last four days or so - he hadn't heard any airplanes, at least - and it felt strange when the loud roar of a plane engine sounded. Shane looked up at the sky out of habit to seea commercial airliner seemingly descending, when a loud bang sounded. The plane veered sharply to the far left and he followed it with his eyes as it made a dangerous turn, seemingly out of control.

Shane tried to shake off the uncanny feeling that this was probably just a minor thing compared the insanity going on as he crossed over to the parking lot.

* * *

Over the next few days, the planes in the sky gradually decreased, until there were no planes at all. When Shane checked the number of flights arriving and leaving, according to the board, there were none, and all of the flights that had been planned went into a seemingly infinite page of " _C_ _ANCELLED_ ".

In other words, the number of flights entering and leaving the state, was zero.

No planes in the sky.

* * *

Three days later, the riots hadn't stopped at all; if things were awful a week ago, they were absolutely terrible now and the riots going on things didn't seem like they would get any better. Shane recalled what the cop hoarding the water supply had told him about how rioting was the problem, and again when he had yelled at Lambert about not leaving Rick to get shot in the hospital.

 _I haven't done a damn thing,_ he rebuked himself. _I haven't done a damn thing to help Rick and if he's not dead, he will be soon._

The hospital would definitely be getting their patients gunned down by now - the outbreak hadn't even been stemming, so the soldiers had probably figured the best way to stem it was to kill any infected in the hospital - and in the situation they were all in, Shane doubted they would bother to check whether the patients were bitten or not - in their view, it was better to get them all gunned down then pick out certain flowers and taking risks.

* * *

Shane slammed the car door after him and ran toward the hospital. He could see two armored cars outside - the soldiers were definitely gunning down the place. Either Rick was dead or he wasn't - and in that case he was going to get gunned down unless Shane got to him before they did.

He didn't have to deal with breaking down the doors - the soldiers had handled that for him - but he knew he'd have to be careful looking for Rick - assuming he was still alive. These soldiers were gunning down the infected and any live patients, there was no way Shane could get past this by telling them he was a cop.

The second he reached the second level of the building, he got off and hid behind one of the overturned beds. The area was a mess and easy to hide in, but it also burned the reminder into his head him that the area was being scoured clean and that meant he had to get Rick out of here fast.

"C'mon, c'mon," Shane muttered under his breath as two soldiers ran past him. As soon as they were out of sight he crawled out and sprinted at top speed toward the stairway. He had to duck behind one of the curtains as another soldier ran up the stairs, gun in hand.

"Whoa, whoa," he muttered, his heart rate increasing, as a group of National Guards movedva group of patients down the hall. A woman hurried after them - one of the personnel. "Ma'am -" Shane began. He knew he was in danger, but they hadn't shot him - not yet, anyway, which meant Rick still had a chance. "Ma'am, please- " Another National Gaurdsman moved her out of his way, forcing her to the end of the hall with the patients, and he quickly moved back.

"Shit, " he whispered, peering out from behind the wall as the soldier reached the end of the hall. He heard a woman scream and some barely audible protest; then multiple guns firing. Shane stared after them, transfixed on the horror he had just witnessed, but the personnel couldn't help him, not anymore - he'd have to find Rick himself. _He's in one of the rooms somewhere close to the cafeteria._

Shane made a run for it. He bolted right but heard shooting for the second time and instinctively hurried into the closest room. The shooting slowly died away and he shot out of the room and down the hallway again. He checked the one he vaguely remembered visiting Rick in before the outbreak - and Rick was in there.

"No, no! Check them all - check them all!" he heard a National Guard shout.

He breathed in slowly, trying to hold in his mixed relief and held-in panic. The soldiers hadn't got to Rick. Of course, they wouldn't need to if...

"Okay," Shane whispered. "I'm gonna get you out of here, bud. Okay. What do I do?"

He looked around the room for something to carry Rick with.

"Come on corporal - move out!" one of the soilders shouted.

Shane heard an explosion in the background and instinctively crouched on the ground. The electricity had cut out, leaving the room mostly dark. He got to his feet, noticing that the life support machine Rick was hooked up to had shut off.

Shane immediately pressed his head to Rick's chest. "If you're going to wake up at all - I need you to do it _NOW!_ " he said in a firm whisper. "Please, man, just show me a sign." He pressed his head down on Rick's chest again.

"Anything," he whispered. "Please, Rick."

The chaos outside the room was making it impossible for him to hear anything, but he couldn't feel Rick's chest moving - or he mistook it for his own movements.

"The place is coming down! Fall back! All units fall back!"

A loud outburst of gunfire interrupted his checking on Rick and Shane rushed over to the door. He opened it slightly - just enough to see what was going on.

Several National Guards were gunning down patients and their hospital staff as they tried to escape. He rushed back into the room to Rick's bed but heard a soldier approaching; he was just able to squat down almost under the bed when the soldier opened the room. He watched from under the bed as the soldier scanned the room before leaving.

Shane got back up, shaking as he lamented over Rick's death. _He's my best friend. We've been through so much together.._ _._

"I'm - " Shane's mouth was suddenly hot and dry. He swallowed. "I'm okay," he whispered.

The building shook again and Shane fled the room. He hesitated a moment, then closed the door and pushed a bed against it. _I can't just leave Rick in there to get his body mauled on by any of those crazy flesh-eating monsters_ , he insisted, even though the horrible discovery still haunted him.

* * *

Instead of heading back to the station, Shane went straight for Lori and Carl's house. _It's what Rick would want me to do,_ he told himself, _and besides that... I can't leave her and Carl for dead. He's just a kid, he and his mother have no idea what they're facing out there._

By the time he reached their house, the remaining sun had been blocked out by clouds. _Is it going to rain on top of everything else?_ Shane wondered momentarily as he pulled the car uo at their house. He didn't even bother pulling up into the driveway but grabbed his shotgun and bolted up the path and kicked at the door. The light in the side of the house was on. "Lori!" he shouted.

He kicked the door a few times before it opened.

"Carl!" Lori shrieked. "Don't open that door - "

"It's okay," Shane said, breathing slowly through his nose. "It's okay. It's just me."

Lori shoved the door shut the moment he got out of the way. "Where's Rick?"

Shane rubbed his head. "Rick's in the - Lori - I think that's something we should discuss later. Right now we need to get out of here."

Lori nodded as she noticed Shane's expression but didn't say anything about it. Instead she started, "We- we have some clothes and a few cans of food in the cabinet - give me a moment," she said, the muscles in her face straining to hold herself back from showing her feelings and confusion.

"They say Atlanta - they say it's safe so we'll head that way first," he yelled as she disappeared down the hallway..

Lori disappeared into the back room. Carl returned from the kitchen carrying a bunch of assorted cans in a trash bag and a can opener.

"Here, I'll get those," Shane offered. "You and Carl - just - get in the car, okay? I'll be right after you."

Lori came out of the room carrying a few clothes.

"C'mon, let's go."

Shane shut the door behind them but didn't bother locking it - it wasn't as if they would be able to return to the home. Lori opened the trunk and shoved the clothes in; Carl was already in his seat. Shane dumped the cans and their can opener on top of the clothes and took his shotgun from his shoulder before fitting it in where it wouldn't jiggle around on the ride and shut the trunk before getting into the front seat with Lori via driver's seat and started the car.

* * *

"Shane?" Lori asked an hour later, as they turned out into the main road to Atlanta. "What you were telling me earlier - about Rick - is he okay?"

Shane didn't reply. He had known from the moment he told Lori to wait for later that it wasn't going to be easy telling her about Rick - _how exactly do you tell your best friend's wife that he's dead_ \- but now that he was there, with them all listening intently and in no immediate danger -

"Lori...," he stalled. "There's no easy way to say this..."

Lori looked at him as he made a sharp turn. There were more cars on the highway now and they had to slow down.

"He's not okay," said Shane, not looking back and trying to forget being in the hospital room, panicking as he detected no heartbeat. "Lori - he was - he was _dead_ when I got to the hospital. I - I should have got him out of there sooner."

"It's not your fault," she said. He could tell she was crying by her voice, but trying to stay calm. "You did what you could - "

"It wasn't enough!" he snapped. "I should have went there sooner, Lori - it was my fault he got shot in the first place - I screwed up - "

A small cry escaped from Carl and Shane stopped talking, instead focusing on the road, while Lori comforted her son.

He looked out the window. The line to Atlanta seemed to last forever and there was no indication that it would speed up any time soon.

* * *

Roadblocks.

They had been in traffic for five hours - it must be two in the morning by now. Lori and Carl had left the car while he listened for any broadcasts on the radio; so far, nothing but static and occasional sentence fragments.

Shane opened the door and rubbed his face, trying to stay awake and pay attention to what was going on.

"Normal broadcasting will cease immediately..." Static.

A far-off gunshot, probably farther up the road, fired. It was followed by two more. Broadcasting was stopping because... why? He sat up and rubbed his head, trying to pay attention to what was going on. It didn't matter why, he decided. The broadcasting had stopped - which meant they were wasting their time sitting their cars on the roads and listening to the radios.

Shane got out of the car and walked over to Lori and Carl. Lori was talking to a older, extremely short-haired woman. Her kid was standing next to Carl.

"Did you find it? Are we gonna go soon?" Carl asked, tearing away from his mother and looking at Shane.

"I don't know, baby," Lori cut in, turning to face him. "I sure hope so."

"I'm hungry," Carl said.

"I know, Carl," Lori replied.

Shane cleared his throat. "We all are," he started.

"Why don't I get him something to eat? Ed's into all this survival stuff," the woman said. "We've got enough MREs to feed a small army."

"I'd sure appreciate it," Lori answered quickly.

"No trouble." She disappeared in between the rows of cars.

"You getting anything?" Lori asked.

"There's nothing," he responded. She snorted. "Big surprise there."

"No, I mean there's nothing. Emergency broadcasting stopped." He scratched his head. "And that recording about the refugee center. It's all gone. I'm gonna go up the road a bit, see what I can see."

"I'll come with you."

The woman returned and Carl looked up. "Ed must have forgot to pack those MREs," she said. "I found these in my purse."

"It's all right, Lori said. "Listen, do you mind keeping an eye on Carl for me? Shane and I are gonna go scout up ahead a little bit and see if we can find someone that knows what's going on."

"No," she said.

"I want to come with you!" Carl interrupted.

"Uh-uh." Lori shook her head.

"We'll be back before you know it. Okay, little man, huh?" Carl nodded and turned back to the little girl.

Shane walked with Lori, picking his way through the cars crammed nearly bumper-to-bumper.

"Why would they stop broadcasting about the refugee center?" she whispered to him as they moved out of Carl's earshot.

"I don't know."

"You think they're turning people away?"

"Hell, they're gonna have a riot on their hands if they try."

"What do we do?"

"Come here." Shane put his hand on her shoulder. "We're gonna do what Rick would have wanted us to do, get you and Carl out of here."

She nodded, but her face paled as she looked up at the sky again.

"That's not lightning," Lori said, pointing at the lights going off far up ahead. Shane noticed silhouettes of helicopters as they flew over the city. Army.

"You stay with me now," Shane whispered, trying to calm her. "Come on, stay with me."

"Oh my God," Lori said.

"They're dropping napalm in the streets." Shane put his hand against his head, trying to understand what was going on.

She started running back the way they headed. "Shane. Come here!"

* * *

"Lori?" Shane called, shutting the car door as gently as possible.

She was standing about four cars' lengths from where their car was parked.

"Carl's asleep in the car." He couldn't help feeling relieved. "It's the first time he's slept since we hit the road five days ago."

"Good." Lori nodded briefly. Shane got the hunch that she wasn't paying much attention to him.

"Lori?" Shane said, concerned.

"He seems to be taking things well." She closed her eyes tightly for a moment. "As well as we can expect from what he's - what he's been through."

"Yeah..." Shane paused. "Are you okay?"

Lori squinted and looked back at him. " _No,_ Shane - and I probably never will be. We're never going to be a normal family again - just look at us." Her head drooped forward. "I'm holding together for Carl .. for Rick - "

"Hey..." Shane put his hand on her shoulder. "Don't take it so badly on yourself. It's not your fault Rick - got shot - " He rubbed his head. "That was my fault, all right?"

"Look at it... the whole _city_ is destroyed. Everyone that came there for protection is _dead._ They'd have to be. Nobody could survive that, Shane. And Rick.."

"Lori..." He put a hand on her shoulder.

"Shane... I can't thank you enough for coming with us. Carl and I never would have made it down here on our own." Lori said. "I'll never be able to repay you." She turned her head around slightly and looked up at him.

He didn't think as they both leaned in and kissed, didn't notice until after he had done it. Immediately he pulled away. At the moment he couldn't understand what had brought him to do it. It was an accident.

"I'm sorry, Lori - I didn't mean - " He looked away. "I'm sorry."

"No..." She seemed unsure for a moment and he felt her tense. "You don't have to apologize, Shane... with everything you've went through, everything _we've_ been through... I _understand._ "

Shane rubbed his head with his free hand, feeling very agitated at the moment. This was wrong. What he had just done was wrong. He might have always had a thing for Lori but... _I can't just screw around with my best friend's wife -_

She hesitated, then in a lower whisper, said, "I _need_ you, Shane."


	2. Chapter 1

_A/N: As a general update, I'm screwing the two-shot idea and attempting to make an actual fic with this even though I already wrote the infamous Otis scene and will be taking a month or two to finish the first 2-3 chapters about him even BEFORE season 1 or 2 even take place (not counting flashbacks -covered last chapter.)_ _So I'm going to be plugging the crap into the Netflix stuffs and rewatching seasons 1-2 so I don't skip something important and you won't point it out and make me feel like an idiot for not noticing it. For some reason I found the time to binge watch Netflix's_ _Daredevil a couple weeks ago. Okay, so I actually have a defense for Jon Bernthal as the new Punisher, because I'm sure you want me to yammer on about actors in superhero shows on a Walking Dead fanfic._

 _In other news, you know how in the season 2 flashback, they show how Carol (and Ed, Sophia) met Shane, Lori, and Carl, but not Daryl,Merle, Dale, Amy, Andrea, Glenn, or the Morales family? It's never been mentioned either, and I understand that in Rick's world (his view, his person) it's not that important, but this is focus on Shane and his experiences, and no matter how I see it, I feel it as inevitable that I point out those "moments" before Rick came back and how it affected him - how he was ahead of his game. Oh yeah and as a final note this starts off not long after the prologue's ending - a night or so later._

 **Disclaimer:** The Fox Familiar had ideas again, she's good with ideas. And thank you Sassy Lil Scorpio for beta-ing this chapter for me :) Also I referred multiple times to check Wikipedia and other sources which can be bothered enough to keep up with TWD's seasons that I can't because I'm lazy as hell and have better things to do than to notice every time someone in TWD kills a walker. Also if I owned the Walking Dead Shane wouldn't have died so soon.

* * *

Despite what Lori had said about it being okay, Shane still felt guilty about kissing her. Rick may have wanted him to be here for his wife and son, but he was sure Rick didn't want him screwing around with Lori.

 _It wasn't right_ , he told himself. If Rick was still alive, Shane would not have been able to justify it, nor would he have even thought of doing it. If Rick was still alive, he would just be Rick's partner, his sidekick, his best friend - if Rick were still alive he wouldn't even be in this position. It would still be his duty to help protect his best friend's family, but not solely his responsibility - not as his main duty.

He shifted on the roof of the car, the highest vantage point they could get in their temporary camp. Nothing. Or, at least nothing he could see in the trees. Either way, their temporary camping site seemed to be safe for now. If something came they would hear it or see it first.

Looking back, where the trees thinned out, he could see the city of Atlanta loomed through the moonlit night, devoid of any obvious signs of life and light, except the fires that raged through the neighborhood. Lori was right - everyone who came to Atlanta for protection was dead. More likely than not, they had been transformed into the undead freaks that now roamed the cities.

His thoughts shifted back to Lori. Part of what disconcerted about kissing her was the feelings he had harbored for her before he had fucked up with the radio call. Before the undead freaks had risen up to eat the living. Feelings that were a bit more than 'just friendly'. Shane had never really paid attention to it before, because it wasn't like he would ever act upon them. He had never gave it a second thought.

Now that Shane did think about it, he wasn't sure if he had been aware of how he felt toward Lori. She was pretty, yes, but she was also Rick's wife. Sure, he had had previous affairs with women, but Lori wasn't just a woman he met in his senior year at high school, or someone he met while on duty at the police station - she wasn't someone that he would agree to have a one-night stand with. She was married. Not only that, but she was his best friend's wife. He wouldn't fuck Rick's wife — he wouldn't cross that line.

"Shane?" Lori opened the door of the car, staggering to her feet as she moved outside.

"I'm here," he responded, sliding from the edge of the car to the ground. In a lower voice, he added, "How's Carl?"

Lori puckered her lips and sat down next to him. "He's asleep - h-he seems to be taking things much better now." She paused. "Shane - we've been here for a week since you took us out of King County. We're low on food - we need to move somewhere else. This is too close to where _it_ -where it happened. I-" She bobbed her head as she spoke, glancing at the car, and added, "I-I don't want him to be - _playing_ \- somewhere, and he gets caught by one of those things. I-" Lori turned back, staring at him.

Shane looked away. He remembered what she had said to him after he had kissed her - that it was okay - that she understood why he had done it - grateful for his being there for her - that she _needed_ him.

"We - we're going to find a safe location," he assured her. Lori didn't look convinced.

"How can you be sure that it's safe?" Lori asked, her voice breaking. "We were told that King County was safe, that we would be protected. We were told that Atlanta was safe. We weren't protected. Atlanta wasn't safe."

"Nothing will happen." Shane attempted to reassure her and rubbed his forehead as he spoke, giving away his fear. Lori pressed her fingers to her mouth, her expression dubious.

"Nothing will happen to you and Carl, okay," Shane said, forcing his voice to remain firm. "See-see, we'll find a safe place for you and Carl." Cautiously, he put his arm around her. "It's - you - we're going to be okay."

Instead of pushing away, Lori moved closer to him - not as in an approach, but as if it comforted her to know he was there for him. He supposed it would. To feel safe; to feel her son was safe, as long as she stayed with him.

It wasn't true. But because it gave her solace, he didn't mention the self-doubt that was gnawing at his brain. He didn't say a word about the many disorganized thoughts rushing through his mind - about the many dangers the road that lay ahead had in store for them, or if there was even any safe place left after what went down in Atlanta. Shane had said he would keep them safe, that there was a safe area somewhere. It was his responsibility now to make sure they had one.

* * *

Shane kept watch through most of the night, only falling asleep briefly in the short hours before dawn. He awoke to the sound of the car's door opening and scrambled to his feet. The first light of dawn cast shadows upon the camp. The car's back door slid open and Carl poked his head out, rubbing his eyes.

"Hey," Shane called, gesturing to Carl to come sit beside him.

Carl stumbled out, still rubbing his face.

"Your mother asleep?" Shane asked.

"Yeah." Carl motioned to the tent. "You want me to go get her?"

"No, it's fine," Shane responded quickly. "Are you hungry?"

Carl shook his head, shrugging. "No." He paused and moved a bit closer. "Shane?" Carl moved sideways, trying to catch his eye.

"What?"

"I want... I wanted to ask you something," Carl said, his gaze moving to his feet.

Shane rubbed his head, trying to dispel the nerves that were beginning to bubble at the surface. "What's that?"

Carl understood his question as a green light to ask his own inquiry. "Shane... how did Dad die?" he asked. "What happened to him?"

The twelve year old stared at him, and Shane felt shame overwhelm him. He had tried his best to forget it, but despite it, he knew that he would never be able to rid his memory of the time when they - he - had miscalculated the number of criminals, the way he failed his best friend - and found him dead in the hospital. All those memories came flooding back to him as Carl waited patiently for a response." . "He - I didn't make it in time," he managed to say.

"I know," Carl said quietly., as if he were unsure of how Shane would react. "Wh-what happened?"

Shane remembered the days before the outbreak - the end of the day, about after sundown where he had stood there on the grass watching Lori, Rick, and Carl walk away. At that moment, as he should have expected but hadn't, a wave of feeling had broke over him - a combination of sadness and yet an unfamiliar feeling of relief. He had known at the time that he would miss Rick and even his family, but at the same time - for his purposes, they hadn't left fast enough. Now that Rick was gone, he regretted the mere feeling of wanting him to leave.

"Did your mother tell you - about him getting shot?" Shane asked. His throat felt as if it were being squeezed, and he could barely get the words out. "How- how it happened?"

"She said he got shot," Carl said. "She said he was in surgery. But you said he died. You told Mom in the car -when we were on the highway, you said he was dead when you got to him." Carl hesitated. "But y- you never explained how it happened. Mom said you told her." He looked back at Shane, his face intent but uncertain, as though he knew what he wanted but was unsure of how to deliver it. "I want to know how it happened too."

Shane took a breath. He had known he would have to relive this moment eventually, but he still felt unprepared. Carl was a kid. He shouldn't have to go through this kind of shit. "There was a radio call that said that there was two suspects in a car," he began. "Somebody got it wrong. There was a third man - somebody screwed up. We - I never thought it could be a mistake. That kind of thing - doesn't happen too often." He wiped his face.

Shane had explained this part to Lori. But this time it felt different. _When I was explaining the shit that happened, Rick -he was still alive. He was in a hospital because of me, but he was still alive. He might even have made it out okay._ Now, as he stooped down to face Carl, to explain what happened, his guilt was intensified by the fact that his best friend was dead. That he was never coming back, all because of the screw-up he had made after the radio call. "I screwed up. The third man - we got the other two. But he tagged Rick after that. He shot him in the chest. I had Leon call an ambulance." He took a breath and continued. "They got him to the hospital. I visited him a few times before the outbreak. H-he was fine. In and out, but he was fine."

Shane stared into Carl's face as he tried to focus, trying so desperately not to get sucked into his own memories. He was telling this to Carl. He couldn't decide when to start and finish - he had to do it now. _This isn't for me, it's for him._

"I told myself, when this all went down, I wasn't going to leave him there. I - I didn't stop thinking about him, but I didn't do anything. I-it's my fault." Shane massaged the back of his head repeatedly. "There were soldiers shooting people in the halls. They didn't get to him. He was dead before I found him, Carl. I-I checked his heartbeat before I left and I- I- I did not hear one." Shane wanted to say something - to try to comfort Carl, but he stayed silent. Best to leave him right now. He'll get through this.

Carl didn't say anything either. He just stared at Shane and whispered something so quietly Shane almost missed it.

"Thank you for telling me."

Shane didn't lie to himself; he did not try to convince himself that he didn't know how deep Rick's connections between them all ran. But as he watched Carl open the door to the car once again and crawl into the car, Shane caught a glimpse of his face - an overwhelming expression of loss - and a feeling of deep sorrow filled him as he finally allowed himself to feel the reality of Rick's death and what it meant to him - what it meant to Lori and Carl- and he truly understood what Lori had meant when she said "we're never going to be a normal family again".

* * *

It was early evening. The trees' shadows moved across the area as the sun sunk slowly behind the horizon. He could feel Lori's gaze on his back as he opened up the trunk of the car. Four or five empty plastic bags were jammed under the seat next to the bag with the canned food. Shane pulled it out and emptied the contents onto the ground - two cans of corned beef, three cans of kidney beans, and a can of pears.

"That's it. We're down to the last five."

Shane briefly moved his hand across his head and returned the cans. He looked up at Lori. "We're gonna need to move our camp by tomorrow night. That way we can find a way to restock. You were right, we're too close to the highway."

Lori puckered her mouth and nodded. "I'll tell Carl. He- he'll want to say goodbye to Sophia. They've become close friends."

"Wait - Lori, wait," he called, slamming the trunk of the car shut and hurrying after her. "Lori."

She paused in her walk and turned to face him. "What?"

"I - I was thinking," he began, stuttering. "Carl and Sophia - they get along pretty well, so I was thinking... we could invite them to join us? As a- a kind of group, y'know?"

Lori inclined her head. "And if it doesn't?"

"It will, it will," he assured her. "Listen - I'll ask them if they want to come. See-see, we'll figure something out."

She waved her hand toward Ed and Carol's car. "They'll be over there. Carol will probably be "with Sophia and Carl - I asked her to watch Carl earlier." She paused. "I'll come with you."

Shane followed her, slowing as they approached Ed and Carol's car. Sophia and Carl were playing a board game. Carol sat a short distance from them, next to the car.

"Hey," he called.

Lori threw him a quick glance, her expression wary. Shane followed her gaze to the hood of the car. It wasn't facing them, but he could still make out Carol's husband, Ed, who was sitting on the hood of the car, lighting a cigarette. Carol smiled meekly and stood up as they approached.

"Carol, we - we're leaving," Lori said, starting before Shane had a chance to think about how he should word it. Carl looked up.

Carol's meek smile disappeared. "But - "

"We were wondering if you wanted to join us," Shane interjected. "We're leaving tomorrow night, so the offer stands until then. After that - well, if you change your mind -" He cut himself off. "Well, you and your little girl are welcome to come, all you have to do is say yes."

"I'd like to," Carol said, but she seemed nervous and unsure, as if she were waiting for permission to do so.

"What are you doin'?"

Ed jumped off the car and stormed over to them, but quickly changed direction to Carol. She shrank back as he approached. Lori covered her mouth and hurried over to Carl and Sophia, who had stopped playing and were staring at Ed and Carol nervously.

"They said they're leaving tomorrow -they were asking if we wanted to come," Carol said. "I - I said we- I'd like to -"

"What in the hell did you say that for?" Ed demanded roughly. "We don't need their damn help. We can get on just fine on our own."

"Sophia gets along alright with their son," Carol said, her voice faltering. "I just thought -"

"You don't give any damn orders here," Ed snapped, shoving her against the car. He turned to face Shane. "What are you doing here?"

Shane didn't move. He had not thought Ed was the kind of person who would hit his wife- or his daughter - when he met him. Sure, he had only talked to him once, and Shane thought he handled things rather roughly, but he had never really suspected Ed was actually abusing his family.

"I'm going to have to ask you to leave us," Ed said threateningly, his voice low and grating.

"No."

"Excuse me? You need to leave," Ed said, barely containing himself. "What have you been talking about, huh?" he snapped at Carol, smacking her across the face. His hand didn't make any sound on contact, but when he pulled his hand back, Shane could see four bright red marks where his fingers had hit.

Shane grabbed Ed's shoulder and wrenched him back, away from Carol, who scrambled to get out of the way, and as she did so he shoved Ed forward, slamming him into the car.

"You- you think you have any authority here?" sputtered Ed. "You think you can just come in here _whenever you like and talk to my wife_?" He pulled his hand back and struck out, but Shane ducked, grabbing his arm and pressing him to the car's window.

"Come on, sweetie," he heard Lori say to Carl. "Let's get back to the car." Shane heard them get up; heard them walk away, but the noise was faint, as if it were just another part of the background, and he glanced away from Ed. Carol stood back; her face twisted and mouth open in a silent sob. Sophia looked like she was going to cry. Lori and Carl had disappeared into the cluster of trees towards their car. Shane turned back to him.

"You hit your wife or your daughter - you hit any off them ever again and I'll beat the shit out of you."

"Stop it," Carol begged "Please."

Shane hesitated. He has threatened Ed out of concern for Carol - now, in the catastrophic world they lived in; there was no law; no law enforcement left. Everything was gone - and there was no one else to stop Ed from hurting his wife or daughter. Shane didn't move.

"You touch them again. You just try it, Ed. I'll beat the fucking shit out of you," Shane said, projecting his voice loudly so that Ed could hear him, and relinquished his grip on Ed's shoulder. Ed muttered something in retaliation but didn't make any further moves toward Carol - but while he staggered back, his face was a mixture of anger and humiliation. As he moved away from Carol and Sophia, Shane turned to Carol. Sophia had buried her face into her mother's waist.

"If you want to come with us, you can," he said to her, trying to reach out to her with words. "No one's going to stop you."

Ed grunted something indistinctly, but he seemed to have understood Shane's message - at least for now - and instead of approaching Carol, he stayed leaning against the tree where he had retreated to.

Carol seemed upset and yet she did not acknowledge him and he felt the sting of old memories at the hurt, haunted, and yet slightly vacant expression on her face. It was the way many abused women had behaved when he and Rick had come to help - but more over, it reminded him of the way his own mother looked when she came home after working her ass off just to pay the bills. To feed him; to give him a roof to sleep under. For Carol it was worse.

"Hey," Shane called out to Carol. She didn't respond. "Hey," he said again, rubbing his head as hearly began to feel agitated. He didn't know what Carol was thinking or feeling. "Carol." He touched her arm, trying to snap her out of the daze she seemed to be wandering in.

She wasn't looking at him, as though she were angry at him, and yet her posture wasn't fearing, hating, or rejecting his presence.

"You threatened him," Carol said, uttering the words so softly as she jerked away he almost doubted he had heard them. But something told him he had heard her- correctly, and he stooped down to face her.

"I had to," Shane said. Sophia barely acknowledged his presence, her face still hidden as she hugged her mother - and Carol's eyes met his and he saw her confusion on the issue.

Carol's eyes darted to her husband, then back to Shane. She didn't reply - only giving him a dismissive glance, if the slight jerk of her head had even indicated that she cared about his presense.

He couldn't explain it to her. She didn't seem to understand his point, but for Shane it was vital that she accepted and understood that that he intended no harm to her when he had threatened Ed.

"I had to," he insisted. "He was going to hurt you."

"Thank you," Carol said after a moment. Her hesitation was all he needed to know she didn't mean the words as much as he wished she did.

"I was just trying to keep you safe," Shane said, attempting to get her understanding. "I didn't..." he broke off rather suddenly. He couldn't and wouldn't undo the act of telling Ed to keep his hands off his wife and daughter. It had to be done. There was no one else to stop him.

 _He needed to be dealt with,_ Shane told himself. _If I didn't stop him, no one else would have..._

He had dealt with this kind of shock and hurt more than he cared to think about, but Carol wasn't just any victim of domestic violence and it wasn't the same as bringing the suspected abuser in for questioning.

"I had to stop him," he told her again. "I couldn't just stand there..." He squeezed her shoulder slightly.

He remembered the domestic violence calls he and Rick had received on occasion, and how they just sat, cowed and broken at the table in the waiting room. Not really seeing or feeling or even appreciating their efforts to care for them in the aftermath of their abusive partners' assault.

Shane couldn't explain it to her, but he was certain that he needed to make things right somehow. He wouldn't apologize for telling Ed to stay away from Carol - from Sophia, but he felt he needed to make sure she felt safe from danger - protected, the way he tried to make Lori and Carl feel; to make sure they were shielded from the harm this new world had in store for them.

"You can come with us," he repeated. "I - we'll find a safe place. For you and your little girl. You don't have to stay here. We can all go together. As a group. We - we'll find someplace safe," he said, his words becoming ineffectual to himself as he recalled this was what he had told Lori; and that he had not yet confirmed his promise. Right now, it was nothing more than a flawed hope he held onto. "I can - I can help you. I can keep you and your little girl safe," he prompted her. "All you have to do is say yes."


End file.
